Over Inflated Jerk
by magical me4
Summary: Seventh Year: James has decided to fall in love with Lily who coincidentally has decided to hate him. James persues her through the year hoping she'll fall for him but Lily seems hoplessly immune. Can Lily ever love an over inflated jerk? find out here
1. A New Start

bonjour fan fic readers. This was inspired by OotP. i don't know where I'm going to head with this, i just did it whilst I was bored. please review if you get to the end.  
  
Disclaimer: All belongs to the infamous JK Rowling.  
  
OVER INFLATED JERK  
  
*end of fifth year*  
  
SMACK  
  
"NEVER EVER DO THAT AGAIN POTTER" shrieked Lily Evans whacking James round the face and pushing him away from her. James grinned in the prick-like way that only the prickiest of people can accomplish as he watched Lily storm from the room, a look of deep disgust clearly prominent on her normally pretty features. She couldn't understand why anyone wouldn't feel this way having just been victim to what Potter called a kiss. The crowd of people who had surrounded the pair applauded then slowly started to drift away smiles all etched on their faces. A show put on by Lily and James should at all costs never be missed. Although many had happened each was just as entertaining as the last. One had to feel slightly sorry for them though. It was painful to see two people so clearly destined for each other at one anothers throats all day every day.   
  
Since fourth year, James had for no apparant reason declared Lily the most spectacular specimin of the female population and also declared himself madly in love with her. This would be a dream come true for most girls in the school but Lily being perhaps slightly more intelligent had seen not the handsome exterior but the obnoxious, arrogant, stupid, egotistical, and prick-like pervert underneath. (from her point of view anyway.) As far as she was concerned Potter was an over inflated jerk and until he not only realised this but also did something about it there was no way in hell that she would ever go out with him. Having told him this, Lily was happy to know that since it is a truth universally acknowledged that James Potter could never not be a prick, she was 100% safe.   
  
*seventh year*  
  
Now two years on lily was just as sure that James would never 'deflate' however she was less sure that she was going to board the Hogwarts express in time. She had flung her trunks into the bag compartment with all the force she could muster and was for the moment not worried about the rather large crack that she heard from within her case, she was more worried about finding her friends and not bumping into Potter. Tentatively she hurried onto the train. She couldn't smell dungbombs so hopefully Potter wasn't anywhere near. She was just about to start the search for her friends when suddenly she couldn't see.  
  
"Looking for someone?" Lily didn't even need to guess who the annoying voice belonged to. Only one person could be so prickish.  
  
"Not now Potter, I'm in the middle of a search." she said ignoring the tickling of his breath on her neck.  
  
"Claire and Emily are in there." James said pointing helpfully at the compartment behind him. Lily sighed. She had been in this situation before, Potter would be hoping that she'd squeeze past him in order to enter the compartment. Well this was really not the time for him to play games with her. She drew her wand and aimed it at him, ready to curse him out the window if she had to. She blinked, James was not standing between her and the doorway anymore. He was holding the door open and smiling charmingly at her. Suspiciously she edged her way past him and seated herself between Claire and Emily. To her annoyment while she exchanged greetings with her friends Potter did not move. After a few minutes Lily couldn't stand it any longer, "Was there something you wanted Potter?" she asked icily.  
  
James coughed, "well it's just that we're meant to be sitting in the heads carriage together." Lily could have sworn he looked faintly apologetic but then knew she had imagined it when his old grin flickered back on. Then the true meaning of his words dawned on her. Lily had found out that she was head girl over the summer but it had never occured to her that James would become head boy. She'd assumed someone like Amos Diggory would be given the position, but Potter? That was just unthinkable.  
  
"Yeah, I'm head boy" James said grinning as he saw Lily's incredulous look. She could almost feel Claire and Emily swoon behind her.  
  
"Don't be ridiculous. No one in their right mind would make you headboy." She said laughing but James could tell she was worried  
  
"No one apart from Dumbledore." he said flashing sparkly teeth. "I thought we could go and talk about plans for this year in the heads compartment."  
  
Lily examined James shrewdly, "Whats happened to you Potter? You're acting weirdly almost nicely, you havn't even asked me out yet. What's the matter with you?  
  
"Why Lily, I didn't know that you cared so much. If it would please you then it would please me even more to ask you out."  
  
Lily glared at him. "You know I didn't mean that. Besides you still haven't told me why you're acting like this."  
  
James knew this question would pop up at some point. Lily had once said something about him being an over inflated jerk, (where she could have got this idea he had no idea) but she had insinuated that if he stopped being a total prick then she might go out with him. After a year of James's normal skills not working he had decided it was time to change tactics. Unlike most girls Lily hadn't fallen for his charming wit or intense good looks, maybe she actually liked geeky guys. It didn't register in James's brain that you could be cool without being him (ie. a prick) So maybe if he acted the nice-guy and was all serious and polite she would fall for him. However he would never tell her that these were his motives as she would deem them prick-like and that wasn't a good start.  
  
"Lily, my darling," he said amongst another glare, "I think that since we will be working together so much, being the two heads, we ought to start over, forget everything between us and start afresh. If I can't have you as a sex toy I mean girlfriend," he covered hastily, "I would like us very much to be friends." He beamed at her, obviously convinced that he had done something tremendous and honourable. She'll lap it all up he thought to himself, after all, it was the perfect coverup. She wouldn't suspect a thing.   
  
He looked at Lily again under the impression that she would immediatley jump into his arms and say "James I love you, why didn't I realise before that you were so wondefully nice." Far from this, she was gazing at him, her forehead creased wih thought. "Oh, now I get it," she said suddenly smiling. "Well Potter, if you think i'm falling for that little acting display you can think again. There is no way you're tricking me into believing that you could actually be nice. If this is just a long drawn out version of you asking me out then I'd rather you just came out with it quickly so I can say no quickly and then kick you out quickly.  
  
James gaped at her. It seemed she had seen through it at once. Maybe it wasn't so crazy that she was head girl. Well now that his plan had been thrawted, he may aswell just come out with it. "You said if I wasn't an over inflated jerk then you'd go out with me" he said sulkily. Lily rolled her eyes. "Potter, I'm afraid it's one of those life-long curses that will never go away for as long as you live. You're stuck being a prick forever, now get lost. And no, I'm not going to 'plan this years events' in the heads compartment. I'm sure in your perverted head that will mean something quite different." she said when she saw James open his mouth. James sighed and sauntered out the compartment with one final longing glance at Lily. He couldn't help it if he liked her. She had to be the most difficult girl he'd ever met. Why did he always fall for the troublesome ones?  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Well no wonder," said Remus Lupin over a mouth of potatoes "Prongs, you've got to be more subtle, more gradual-"  
  
"How?"  
  
"Well for a start you can't just waltz into her compartment with a totally different personality, she's bound to notice somethings up-"  
  
"So do I keep acting like a prick?"  
  
Remus sighed. "No, just don't be so blatantly obvious. Be yourself but without the pricky comments-"  
  
"Such as?"  
  
"such as, 'Yo lily your ass looks nice in that skirt'"  
  
"But I'd've thought she'd appreciate honesty."  
  
"always works for me!" Sirius added, spraying everyone with gravy.  
  
"Padfoot you wouldn't know tact if it danced in front of you naked. Prongs, you're just too crude. Compliment her but don't be rude. And most importantly take things slowly. In fact I'd advise leaving her alone for a week or two. Let her cool down abit, keep well out of her way, and then keep it small. Just stuff like 'hi Lily' or 'goodmorning lily'. Surprise her-"  
  
"How do you know all this'll work?" asked James a confused expression on his face.  
  
"Because I know Lily. She's not like other girls."  
  
"you've got that right." James muttered under his breath. "She's a dragon in disguise."  
  
Remus ignored this. "do you really like her James?" he asked seriously.  
  
James's expression brightened, "yeah." He said "More than any other girl I've ever known."  
  
"Well this is going to be hard work, but if you're really sure she's worth it then go for it mate."  
  
"Yeah." said Sirius enthusiastically, "and then, if even you can't crack her, let me have a go."  
  
James glared at him. "No. She's mine." He said obstinately  
  
"Yeah yeah, I was only joking." Sirius said hastily, backing away.   
  
James glanced over to where Lily was sitting talking animatedly with her friends. He sighed. "Do you think she really hates me?" he asked.  
  
"Nah," said Sirius, "she just thinks you're a prick."  
  
Down the other end of the table, Lily was sitting with Claire and Emily. They were used to Lily's rants about James Potter but there came a time when all you could do was nod and grunt to show signs of agreement. This time had come for Claire and Emily. They were secretly having a conversation on a piece of parchment under the table. If Lily knew they weren't listening then her rants would undoubtedly double up. Especially if she knew what they were writing, they had in actual fact been writing 'Lily and James a history', ever since first year. They were positive that Lily and James were destined for eachother and that Lily's resistance of James was just a plea for more attention from him. However, they would much rather jump off the top of the astronomy tower than tell Lily this so 'Lily and James a History' had been kept a secret.   
  
"...I mean it's not as if he even likes me, all he's interested in is the sex. I bet if I even did go out with him which I'll never do, he'd shag me then dump me the next day for someone else. He's absoloutly crazy, does he seriously think I'll ever say yes to him, it's a waste of his time, let alone mine, why can't he just leave me alone?"  
  
"Mmm," said Emily distractedly, "Lily, did it ever actually occur to you that he sincerely likes you, look at the way he's looking at you, he probably just doesn't know how to tell his feelings for you properly."  
  
Lily glanced down the table. It was true, James was looking at her mournfully, he saw her looking then looked away hastily, a red tinge on his cheeks. Lily rolled her eyes. "I don't care. Even if he has truly changed his ways I'd never go out with him."  
  
"Why?" asked Claire puzzled. "He's funny, clever - drop dead gorgeous, I'd go out with him if he asked me."  
  
"Yeah, well that's you." said Lily rudely. "I don't like him. It's as simple as that, and I never go out with people who I don't like."  
  
* * *   
  
hey dudes. Congratulations on reaching the end.  
  
Don't forget to review. I don't know if I'll continue this. I just did it whilst it was raining cos i was bored. If I get enough decent reviews then I'll probably continue. It lies in your hands. 


	2. A Complication

hi people. Welcome to the 2nd chapter.  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine.  
  
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Over Inflated Jerk  
  
Chapter 2  
  
And so it was that for the next week or two, Lily saw neither hide nor tail of James Potter, something that even she was finding unusual. Normally by this time, Potter would have asked her out at least 20 times, and with this absence Lily was feeling almost incomplete. She sighed and turned to her clock next to her bed. It read 5 o clock. Lily groaned. She couldn't seem to stop waking up early these days. However she knew there was no chance that she would be able to get back to sleep now so she figured she may aswell get up. She got dressed then picked up her book thinking she would be able to get a good couple of hours reading.  
  
She made her way down to the common room and plonked herself down on her favourite sofa ready to read when suddenly she heard an agonised yell. She jumped up , brandishing her wand and looking around. There was neither sight nor sound of anything so she sat back down but on something, she now realised, confusingly squishy. She got up again and drew her wand. She poked the place where the squishy thing had been suspiciously. "OWW" Lily gazed at the sofa in confusion. Suddenly James Potter's head emerged out of nowhere. She screamed. "You!" James grinned up at her as he reappeared. Lily glared at him. "What's that you're holding?" she asked with suspicion.  
  
"Invisibility cloak." James said grinning lop-sidedly.  
  
"Are they illegal?"  
  
James snorted. "Don't be ridiculous." He paused. "What are you doing down here so early anyway?"  
  
"I could ask you the same thing," Lily replied cooly. "Planning more pranks?"  
  
James smiled and tapped his nose. Lily rolled her eyes and sat down next to him opening her book.  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"A book Potter. They're for reading." she said as if addressing a two year old.  
  
"I know that." he said stubbornly. "I was just wondering which one." Lily dutifully ignored him. "It's so long." he shuddered. "How many pages has it got?"  
  
"About a thousand." Lily replied vaguely.  
  
"And you're reading it?" Had Lily looked at him, she'd have seen his mortified expression.  
  
"Umm." was her reply.  
  
James caught a glimpse of the front cover. "Gone With the Wind?" he asked incredulously. "It sounds like some cheesy soap opera."  
  
"Oh no." said Lily, as if waking up at last. "it's brilliant."  
  
"What's it about?" James asked.  
  
"This girl called Scarlett O'Hara who-"  
  
"Is she hot?" oops. He thought, that was definitly a prickish comment.  
  
Lily glared at him. "Well, it says she's very beautiful, but whether she'd strut around in mini skirt and boob tube like all your slut followers is another matter altogether. It was set in the 19th century."   
  
"I don't have slut followers." said James in an injured voice.  
  
Lily snorted but didn't say anything. Lily was very beautiful, James decided. Her hair fell just past her shoulders in auburn waves and her long curly eyelashes made dark crescents in her porcelain skin whenever she lowered her eyes to the book.   
  
He wished he could kiss her but he knew, judging by previous experiences this would be a very bad move and besides, he wanted to savour the moment when they weren't technically arguing. He watched her a while longer hoping she'd feel his gaze and look at him, however she seemed immune to his stare, still thoroughly absorbed in her book. James sighed and got up. "Bye Lily." he said. It was only much later that Lily realised he'd called her by her first name.  
  
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Unrequited love, James thought was the pits. He'd loved Lily since 4th year but she'd always completely ignored him. He now realised that had he perhaps handled things differently, the situation would be alot more satisfactory. If he hadn't been such a prick then the chances were she would be a lot more friendly towards him now. A small nagging voice in the back of his mind said that it was too late now, and he'd lost all chances of winning her over. However the majority of him said that he wouldn't give up on her until he died and she would have to give in eventually even if it was because she was simply so tired of his nagging. James smiled at the thought of him and Lily being a couple. He knew it would happen one day. He and Lily were meant to be together and he was going to see to it that it happened.  
  
It was just so unfortunate that Lily saw things from the other extreme.  
  
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Lily skipped into her dorm later that day feeling happier than she had in ages. Emily and Claire eyed her suspiciously. "What's happened that's so great?" they asked curiously. Lily smiled and ran over to hug them. "You'll never guess what!" she said after calming down abit.  
  
"Probably not" agreed Claire.  
  
Lily beamed at her. "Amos Diggory just asked me out."  
  
"Wow Lils, that's great!" Exclaimed Emily running up to hug her friend.  
  
"What did you say?" Claire asked, her eyes lighting up.  
  
Lily rolled her eyes. "What do you think? I just hope he doesn't turn out to be such a huge prick like all my other boyfriends." Lily hadn't had the best of luck with the boys she had dated. Most of them had ditched her a day or two later, cheated on her or tried to make her go further than she'd have wanted. In short they had all been barstards. This was probably one of the many reasons as to why Lily was so mistrustful towards James Potter. He happened to display all these disabilities.  
  
"Amos isn't like all those slease-bags Lily, I don't think. He seems like the perfect Gentleman."  
  
Lily grinned. "I know! Anyway I'm supposed to be meeting him at seven. Do you think I ought to get a bit more dressed up?"  
  
"If you want to, I suppose." said Claire. "Not that you need to, you're stunning as it is."  
  
Lily rolled her eyes. "I hate it when you say that. It's so not true."  
  
"Yeah, how could it possibly be true, Claire." added Emily sarcasticly. "I mean how could Lily ever be pretty, just look at her. Ughh" Lily knew she was only joking but that didn't stop her throwing her pillow at Emily with all the force she could muster.  
  
* * *  
  
At seven, Lily was looking very pretty in a white strappy top and denim skirt falling to her knee. Emily and Claire had insisted on putting 'just the tiniest bit of makeup' on her so now the mascara and faint stroke of eyeliner made her green eyes stand out even more, looking more magical than ever.  
  
As she made her way through the common room amid various wolf whistles, she couldn't help but notice James staring at her appreciatively.  
  
"Going somewhere Lils?" called Sirius, grinning boyishly.  
  
"Yes," she said, "not that it's any of your buisiness."  
  
"Well can I just say," Sirius continued, "You look absoloutly beautiful."  
  
"Er..thanks." Lily said. she looked at James, waiting for him to make some pervy comment,  
  
"Who are you meeting then?" he asked her.  
  
"What's it to you?" she asked rudely.  
  
James rolled his eyes, "just making polite conversation, obviously too much for you to handle."  
  
"Well, if you really want to know," she said fleetingly, "I'm meeting Amos." She looked at him, as if daring him to say something. However, he nodded. "You look nice." he said.  
  
Lily raised her eyebrows at him, turned and exited the room.  
  
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hi everyone plz review and thanks for bothering to continue reading.  
  
:) 


	3. High Hopes

Hi everyone. Thanks for reading this far. if anyone knows can you please tell me in your review how you get itallics and bold and all that sort of stuff. thanks.  
  
Disclaimer: all belongs to JK Rowling  
  
Over Inflated Jerk  
  
Chapter 3  
  
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At around midnight, James could not stand the hunger pangs from his stomach anymore. He rumaged under his bed for the invisibility cloak his father had passed down to him and made for the kitchens. He opened the portrait door and saw something he really would rather not have seen. Lily Evans and Amos Diggory were seemingly glued together at the mouth, and both seemed to be enjoying it, Amos's hands were running up and down Lily's back whilst her hands were raking through his hair. Unfortunately, they were standing in the middle of the corridor which made a bit of a predicament for James. He couldn't get past without either of them noticing. He was forced to stay standing there. After a few minutes Lily finally said "I'm sorry Amos I really ought to go now,"   
  
"Oh, Lily, stay just five more minutes."  
  
"No." she said more firmly, well aware of where it could all lead. "I'll see you tomorrow." Amos planted a kiss on her cheek and sauntered away whistling. Lily turned around and saw James, her lips were red and swollen and her cheeks flustered. James found this deeply arousing but knew better than to say anything. She started when she saw him. Shock evident on every feature.  
  
"Sorry," said James, "I couldn't get past without err disturbing you." Lily couldn't see his face in the dark but she knew he was smirking. She stalked past him her head in the air, ignoring the pain she saw flicker briefly in his eyes.  
  
* * *  
  
"Urgh, I bet he was spying on me," Lily was shouting to Emily and Claire who she had just woken up and were feeling rather disgruntled "It would be just typical of him!"  
  
"Lily, please save it for the morning," pleaded Emily blearily, "I'm not in the best of moods."  
  
"Yeah? Well that makes two of us." said Lily dramatically flinging herself into bed.  
  
"You're so Goddamn melodromatic sometimes Lil," came Claire's voice from her left. Lily glared into the darkness. Her friends were used to her fiery attitude by this point but that didn't make it any less annoying.  
  
"How did your date go?" asked Emily hastily changing the subject. Lily smiled to herself, "It went really well," she said "he is such a good kisser"  
  
Emily smiled, "well be careful, you don't want to go too quickly with him."  
  
"Yes Mother." said Lily, "it was only kissing." She sighed, I really, really like him. He was so sweet to me and really romantic." She sighed again. "Well Goodnight you two."  
  
"Yeah you too." Claire said thankful that at last she could go to sleep.  
  
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For the next few weeks, Lily and Amos were completely inseperable. Her friends were glad to see her so happy for once. James was slightly bitter about it but pleased by the fact that due to Lily's cheerfulness she seemed to be warming to him slightly. He had moved on from simple greetings to small conversations. The fact that Lily now had a boyfriend didn't discourage him one bit. If anything it actually spurred him on, making him even more determined to get her. He even thought that she was becoming faintly fond of him.  
  
"Hey Lilykins!" he said bounding down the stairs cheerfully, he scooped her up in a huge hug. "How are you this morning?"  
  
"Potter, put me down." she shrieked indignantly. James put her down gingerly looking slightly miffed, "and there I was thinking we were almost on a first name basis." he said looking at her reproachfully. "My heart's been broken once again." Lily rolled her eyes, "please don't make me apologise Potter," she said sarcastically but James was sure the corners of her mouth were twitching.  
  
"Why won't you call me James?" he asked. His voice was playful but Lily was fairly sure he was being serious.  
  
"Seriously?" she said, "It's just, well, Potter suits you so much more, and besides I could never get used to calling you James, it sounds so weird."  
  
James frowned trying to understand the logic behind this then shrugged, "whatever makes you happy my darling."  
  
"Don't call me that!"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"It's a term of endearment."  
  
"What shall I call you then?"  
  
"Well Lily would be fine," she said a slightly bemused expression on her face, "It's better than Evans."  
  
James grinned, "Do you think I'm improving then?" he asked  
  
"In becoming less prick-like?" James nodded. Lily actually laughed, "well I suppose you are making progress, very slow progress, mind you."  
  
"What, so you're actually starting to like me?"  
  
"Don't push it Potter, I never said that."  
  
"Alright, alright," James said, but as Lily walked past him, and there was no mistaking it this time, she was definitely smiling.  
  
* * *  
  
"What was that all about then?" asked Claire a while later, "Did I actually see you and Pothead flirting?"  
  
Lily looked absoloutly disgusted, "You most certainly did not. Yuck, how could you possibly think such a thing?"  
  
Claire smiled innocently at her but didn't say anything. Instead she rushed off to find Emily to make a new entry in 'Lily and James a History'. It would be the first satisfactory entry they'd made in ages.  
  
* * *  
  
"So how'd you think it's going so far?" Questioned Remus in the boys dorm.  
  
James looked thoughtful for a moment, "She said she couldn't call me James because it sounded weird." Remus looked confused. "But, I happen to think she's warming to me, at last. We do of course still have our fun little arguments but she hasn't hexed me in a week."  
  
"Oh, well that's good I suppose." said Remus, "you haven't forgotten she's going out with Amos have you?"  
  
"Now that is impossible to forget, Moony. Everywhere I go they're together being all touchy-feely." James grimaced. "It's a huge put-off, but I'm not giving up this quickly. She's got to break up with him at some point, right?"  
  
"Yeah, but don't do anything even vaguely flirty with her 'cause then you'd be right back at square one. She really likes Amos."  
  
James sighed. "I know." He wasn't going to admit it to anyone but Lily's relationship with Amos was irking him alot more than he made out. It drove him crazy whenever he saw them together kissing or hugging. They had become Hogwarts latest 'it' couple, and most gossip was connected with them. James was trying not to let it bother him and was working more on his friendship with Lily which was slightly improving, but he still felt like he was walking on eggshells when he was around her.   
  
"Do you feel like you know her more?" asked Remus after a while.  
  
James nodded slowly. "her favourite books 'gone with the wind'" he said grinning.  
  
"ahh." said Remus nodding sagely.  
  
"You haven't read it have you?" James asked looking slightly worried.  
  
"God No," said Remus, "but I've seen the film. It's a very Lilyish kind of story."  
  
"Oh, well what's it about?" asked James eager to learn what a Lilyish kind of story was.  
  
"well, it's about Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara, and Rhett really loves Scarlett but she loves someone else and Rhett keeps persuing Scarlett hoping that she'll fall for him-"  
  
"Oh, so it's kind of like me and Lily in a way," James interrupted.  
  
"Yeah I s'pose, they get married eventually but Scarlett's still really mean to him, and then in the end just as Scarlett realises she loves Rhett he leaves her because he's tired of being turned down."  
  
"Oh," said James, "well I'd never leave Lily, whatever she'd done."  
  
Remus grunted. "Where's Sirius?" he asked, James glad to turn the subject away from romance novels shrugged. "Dunno, probably pranking snivellus again." He sniggered.   
  
"Oh yeah," said Remus, "that's another thing. Lily hates it when you make fun of Snape."  
  
"Yeah" James said, "Can't work out why, he's a complete barstard to her."  
  
"Yeah well it wouldn't hurt to leave him alone for a while either." Remus said wisely, "Maybe she'll start to think you have some consideration."  
  
James nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, good point. Well I'm off to find Lilykins, see what kind of mood she's in. I've been a complete gentleman to her for almost three months now, she ought to have noticed something."  
  
"Bye." said Remus, "I've got to do this potions essay though." He looked slightly sickened "See you later."  
  
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hi  
  
sorry that chapter was so boring. nxt time something quite big happens though. please review since u hav got this far.  
  
thankyou 


	4. The Fight

Hi everyone, thankyou soooooo much to all of you who have stuck with this story and reviewed. it means a lot to me. enjoy the chapter and please review.  
  
:)  
  
Disclaimer:not mine  
  
Over Inflated Jerk  
  
Chapter 4  
  
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James bounced into the common room, looking round expectantly for Lily. It was 9:00. At this time Lily was normally either reading or doing her home work.  
  
James spotted her immediately seated in a comfy arm chair next to the fire. luckily for him there was a free chair opposite her. James sat down easily in the chair spreading out his long legs casually. If Lily had noticed him sitting down, she didn't acknowledge his presence but continued to read her book.  
  
James coughed. Still, she didn't look up.  
  
"Hello, Lily." James said.  
  
"James," she responded cordially, still not looking up. If James had not been with Lily, he knew he would be doing an irish jig of some sort, being so happy. She had actually called him by his first name. Maybe it was a mistake, she probably hadn't mean to.  
  
"You just called me James," he said softly.  
  
Lily looked at him abruptly, "Don't be ridiculous, I called you Potter."  
  
"Did not."  
  
"Damn." If anything, Lily looked annoyed with herself, "Well I didn't mean to." She said stubbornly.  
  
James rolled his eyes, "For Gods sake, Lily, it's not a crime to call me by my first name, it's not as if you're declaring you're undying love for me."  
  
"Which I will certainly never do." she added icily.  
  
"I know." said James, the jovial tone in his voice had gone though. This conversation wasn't going as planned. "Lily, look at me." She didn't look up. "Look at me," James persisted, still she didn't look up. James sighed, "I just want to ask you a question." he said slowly. Lily looked at him at last, "well hurry up, I want to read my book." She looked totally hacked off. James's mouth hung open, "I - I - I just-" Lily was looking at him strangely.   
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
"Well, it's just, it's just - Oh it doesn't matter, forget it." He placed his head in his hands, sighing deeply.   
  
Lily, was now despite herself very curious, "No, go on," She encouraged, "what were you going to say?"  
  
"Doesn't matter."  
  
"Oh, you were going to ask me out weren't you." She bit her lip as James looked at her, one eyebrow raised. She blushed. Why on earth had she said that? Now he'd think her conceited.  
  
"Don't flatter yourself." James said grimly, "No, I wasn't going to ask you out. It hasn't escaped my notice that you're going out with Diggory."  
  
Lily turned redder, if possible. "Well, it's not my fault that's what I thought is it? Normally every question you ask me is whether I'll go out with you."  
  
James looked at her, "Lily, despite how prickish you may think I am, even I wouldn't stoop so low as to ask a girl out when she's already got a boyfriend." Lily blushed again. "I'm actually slightly disappointed in you."  
  
"You're disappointed in me?" Lily said, her voice raised dangerously.  
  
"Yes. I thought you were actually starting to appreciate the effort I'm making, trying to be nice to you." Lily looked at him speechless, then said, "Yeah? Well I'm disappointed in you too. I thought you were actually beginning to change. Obviously that's too much to hope for." With that Lily stormed from the room, her nose in the air.  
  
"I'm trying to make an effort here, Lily, can't you at least try?" he called to her retreating back. Lily slammed the door behind her, completely ignoring him.  
  
"Shit." James swore kicking Lily's chair. He groaned. That had completely messed things up, now she was just going to hate him more than ever. Why had he lost his temper with her? Why had he even tried talking to her? He should have known she would be pissed off with him if he disturbed her from her beloved 'gone with the wind'. "Bloody women." he said to himself, he knew most of them meant trouble but this one...  
  
"That went well then Prongsie." Sirius popped up behind him. "I've never witnessed such a disaster."  
  
"Doesn't surprise me." James muttered darkly. "What am I going to do?"  
  
Sirius looked thoughtful. "Well I know, I'm no bigshot with feelings and all that, but I know you're serious about Lily. If I were you, I'd let her cool down, let her have a rant to those two friends of hers, then apologise."  
  
James looked at Sirius disbelievingly. "What? apologise to her? You've got to be joking. She ought to be apologising to me. She's just undone all my careful work so that we're right back at square one."  
  
Sirius looked at his friend sympathetically. "I know it sucks but you know she'll never apologise to you. Let's ask Moony. He's the one who knows about all this psychological crap."  
  
James nodded wearily, "come on then." he said.  
  
* * *  
  
"Oh James, I can't believe you said that to her." Remus said after they had retold the story.   
  
James glared at him. "Who's side are you on here?"  
  
"Yours, but why on earth did you have to go and lose your temper like that with her?"  
  
"She's just ignoring all my attempts of being nice, it's like she doesn't even care, she's just throwing everything back in my face. I don't know why I'm even bothering. There's clearly no point - she's just too stuborn to appreciate anything-"   
  
Remus could see James was going into rant mode so he quickly intervened, "Well, you know what you've got to do don't you?"  
  
"No." said James obstinately.  
  
"Sirius is right, you've got to apologise." James gaped at him. "Lily would never apologise to you even if she wanted to, she's got too much pride."  
  
"Yeah," said James, "that's the problem with her, she's far too proud."  
  
"I know but think about it Prongs. If you took the first step, it would show her you'd changed, that you're willing to actually go that extra mile. She knows you'd never normally apologise, it would completely surprise her. It might even show her you're serious about her, doing something so out of the ordinary." He looked at James expectantly.  
  
James nodded. "I suppose it might," he said grudgingly, "But she wouldn't listen to me she'd just shout at me more."  
  
"Yeah, so just leave her alone for a while, ok? Let the effect wear off first."  
  
James groaned. "Why is she so difficult?"  
  
* * *   
  
Mean while Lily was as Sirius predicted ranting to Claire and Emily.  
  
"I can't believe I actually thought he'd changed. I must be so stupid, he's as much of a prick as he ever was. He's disappointed in me? HA. How dare he, he actually interrupts me for no apparent reason, insults me and then dares to say that-" she calmed down enough to sit down on her bed. "The weird thing is," she said a bit more softly, "I actually thought he was getting better." She shook her head slightly, "I never thought I'd say this but in a funny way I was becoming quite proud of him. Obviously it is impossible for him to actually be nice-" she broke off, looking for confirmation from Claire and Emily who to her frustration, were sharing a secret sort of glance.  
  
"What?" she asked irritated.  
  
"Nothing," said Emily quickly. Lily eyed them suspiciously.  
  
"I wonder what question he was going to ask you." said Claire thoughtfully.  
  
"Probably something arrogant and obnoxious," said Lily, still scowling.  
  
"You don't know that," Claire said, "You know Lily, if you didn't always think the worst of James, you could get on really well, but you're so contemptful towards him-"  
  
"Well can you blame me?"  
  
Claire ignored this interuption, "Just give him a chance, Lily, please. You know how much he likes you, he must be feeling 100 times worse than you now-"  
  
"Well that's his fault, isn't it" Lily rudely interupted. Emily gave Claire a sympathetic look. Lily was so stuborn. Even if she did ever like James she would never admit it, it was going against all her morals.  
  
"I'm going to find Amos." Lily said a few minutes later, hoping he hadn't gone to bed yet. She found him in the library doing some essay.  
  
"Hey babe," he said putting down his quill. "How are you."  
  
"I've just had a really bad day." she said sitting down beside him grumpily.  
  
"Why, what happened?" he asked sympathetically.  
  
"One word just about sums it up. Potter."  
  
He nodded understandingly, "Well you can just forget about him now, can't you. You're with me."  
  
She grinned at him, he was so close, he reached out and stroked her skin. "You're so beautiful Lily." She smiled nervously, he was coming closer...  
  
They broke apart after what seemed like a few seconds later, in reality it had been a lot longer. Lily stared at him breathless, "Well, I- I'd better be going now." she said softly, "it's probably quite late."  
  
"Ok then," Amos said untangling himself from her. "Good night."  
  
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Ugh I hate amos. Well thats the 4th chapter. thankyou everyone whos reviewed so far, maybe u could give up just a minute more of ur time to review again? maybe?   
  
I love suggestions and constructive criticism, not keen on flames bt if u really feel like ranting about how terrible this fic is go ahead.   
  
thanku also those of u who have put me on their favourites list. i wasnt expecting that.  
  
I'll update when i get at least 10 reviews so if we can take it up to around 60 that would be cool.   
  
see you all next chapter 


	5. Apology accepted

Over Inflated Jerk  
  
Chapter 5  
  
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*  
  
*  
  
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"Apologised yet Prongs?"  
  
"No, not yet" He paused "I am going to." He added seeing Remus's doubtful glance.  
  
"When?"  
  
"At some point." Remus gave him another patronising look. "Soon."  
  
"yeah, 'cause it's been at least a week now hasn't it."  
  
"So?"  
  
"I'm only trying to help you here James."  
  
"Yeah, I know. You haven't seen Sirius recently have you?"  
  
"No, that's another thing though, He's never around for more than ten minutes these days is he?"  
  
James shook his head reaching for the marauders map. He scanned it briefly then saw Sirius's name in the room of requirements. His eyebrows shot up.  
  
"What?" said Remus, "Where is he?"  
  
"He's erm, in the room of requirements with...wait for it...Claire Saunders."  
  
"What?" exclaimed Remus, shocked. "Isn't that Lily's friend?"  
  
"Yeah," said James confused, "I didn't think she'd be his type though, he doesn't normally go for brunettes." This was quite true, Sirius normally went for the busty blonde bombshell kind of look. He shrugged. He'd question Sirius about it later.  
  
* * *   
  
Charms was the last lesson of the day. James decided it would be the perfect opportunity to trap Lily. She would be in a good mood because not only was it the last lesson and soon she would be free, but also because it was charms, her favourite subject.  
  
'hi Lily  
  
please please please meet me after the lesson  
  
I need to talk to you about something  
  
yours   
  
James Potter'  
  
How could she resist that? James folded the letter into a paper aeroplane and aimed it carefully at Lily who was a row infront of him on the left. As she recieved it she looked around suspiciously, spotted James and knew instantly who had sent her the aeroplane. She threw it back at him without even bothering to open it. Fine, thought James, so she was going to be difficult. He knew that however many times he chucked the plane at Lily she wouldn't read it so instead he threw it to her friend Emily hoping that she'd read it then pass it on to Lily.   
  
James's cunning plan was immediately successful. Lily not knowing the plane was from him opened it up, read it then turned around and glared at him. He grinned at her. Most girls couldn't resist that grin and were completely melted by it, it hadn't ever actually worked on Lily but at least she was writing a reply.  
  
Expecting a string of curse words and a big fat NO he opened the aeroplane tentatively. One word stared up at him 'OK'. It took a considerable amount of self-control not to do a victory dance right there in the classroom. Instead he settled for a very smug look, which needless to say lasted for the remainder of the lesson.  
  
When the bell rang and the rest of the students had disappeared, Lily swung round in her chair to face James, one eyebrow raised delicately.   
  
"What do you want Potter?" she asked tiredly.  
  
Fighting hard against saying 'you' which was undoubtedly very prickish, he said casually, "I would very much like to talk with you."  
  
Lily rolled her eyes. "Potter, drop the 'valiant gentleman' act because we all know it's not true. Whatever's on your mind just say it."  
  
"Ok, I want to apologise."  
  
This was the last thing Lily had expected. "Wh - what?" she spluttered, nearly falling off her chair.  
  
"Fine I'll repeat it." In one swift movememnt which took Lily by surprise, James was on his knees, taking her hand and looking up at her with dark but apprehensive eyes. "Dearest Lily, I am incredibly sorry for the conduct of my behaviour last week. I behaved attrociously and you are right to be pissed off with me. I can only hope it is not too late to be forgiven." He looked at Lily intently, never letting his gaze waver. Lily found it very unnerving, almost as if she was a rabbit and he a cat trying to figure out the best moment to pounce.  
  
"Well?" he said, standing up slowly, his gaze still lingering on her.  
  
"Well, umm, I er - erm-" This cat and rabbit thing was very distracting.  
  
"Well, we'll forget it ever happened or well you can shove it up your ass?" he said impatiently.  
  
  
  
"Well, it depends," she said, suddenly smiling. "Why did you apologise anyway?"  
  
James raised an eyebrow almost disbelievingly. "If you haven't worked that out," he said tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, "then you're more stupid than you look."   
  
Lily gaped at him, then suddenly aware of his hand now resting on her shoulder swatted it away. "Why are you doing this to me James?" she said quietly, lowering her eyes.  
  
He shrugged, "Can't help it can I. I'm in love with you." He'd told Lily he loved her before, but he'd never said it quite so matter of factly, as if it ought to be common knowledge by now.  
  
She looked at him speechless, then to his surprise burst into tears. "Why do you love me, I don't want you to love me." she sniffed.  
  
"I had realised," he said sadly, he drew closer to her, putting an arm around her comfortingly. "But I'm afraid I can't help it Lily, I'll chase you until I die if I really have to."  
  
If anything her crying increased. Please don't cry, I hate it when you cry.   
  
"I don't want to be chased" she sobbed, "Not by you, I want you to leave me alone, if you really love me, James then why can't you leave me alone." Why was she doing this? She could almost hear his heart shattering into pieces as she spoke. Did she really want to hurt him, besides since when did she believe he actually loved her?  
  
James's expression changed. He drew a deep breath. "I can't, Lily," he said softly. "I'm sorry" He didn't know why he was even bothering. It would obviously make her a lot happier if he just decided to give up then, "You ought to know me by now. I'm persistent. You're going to be stuck with me for quite a while yet I'm afraid."  
  
She sniffed as she looked up at him miserably. She seemed at a loss for words. James took the opportunity to transfigure a nearby quill into a box of tissues. "Here." he said. "Now blow your nose like a good little girl."  
  
She took a tissue with a small smile on her face"That was my quill." she said.  
  
"Oh - I can change it back-"  
  
"No don't. Kleenex is my favourite, thanks." she dabbed her eyes with the tissues.  
  
James laughed, then looked at her. "You're still crying."  
  
"Am not." She said blinking furiously. He grinned, Lily always tried to act tough. He wiped the tears from her eyes. She trembled.  
  
"Are too."  
  
Liy rolled her eyes at him. "What are we doing here anyway?" she pondered.  
  
"Well, I was apologising to you but then you kind of stole my glory by crying."   
  
Lily glared at him, then said slowly "I do want us to be friends. Just nothing more." She looked at him.  
  
Why Goddamn it? He thought. "Ok, I understand that," he said, "But there must be some chance that your feelings will change."  
  
Lily's brow was furrowed. "I don't think so. I can't ever see that happening. I'm sorry James, I just don't like you in that way. I - I love Amos." She watched him tentatively, waiting for him to blow up but the moment didn't come. "I don't go out with people I don't like. I don't go by those rules. It wouldn't be fair on me and it certainly wouldn't be fair on you ... I'm sorry."  
  
"That's alright." He said gruffly, avoiding her eyes. "I'll see you around, Lily."  
  
"I really am sorry James." She looked at him pleadingly. "You do believe that right?"  
  
"Yeah. of course." He said still not looking at her.  
  
"Then look at me when you say so." she urged.  
  
"I did, I've got to go, bye Lily.  
  
"Bye James." Liy said softly as the door banged shut.  
  
James strode out of the classroom feeling slightly bemused. What position did this leave him in now? Five minutes later he strode back and peered through the window of the door. Lily was still sitting in the exact same position looking at the box of tissues a confused expression on her face.  
  
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Is that some L/J action we've just witnessed? Is something starting to heat up? Find out next chapter and never forget to review. I just love them. Infact I live off them. Anyway thankyou all for sticking with this very sucky story. Good bye. :) 


	6. A Plan

hi everyone. thanks to everyones os far whos reviewed. I love you all. If you can afford to spend a minute of your time by doing another good deed then by all means review this chapter too.  
  
Disclaimer: not mine.   
  
Over Inflated Jerk  
  
chapter 6  
  
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Claire Saunders brushed a strand of long dark hair behind her ear and gazed up at Sirius Black expectantly.  
  
"Well? What do you think?" she asked eventually.   
  
"It's a good idea I suppose." He began "But it could backfire pretty badly. I mean they could end up worse than before."  
  
"Yeah I know, but there's a risk to every plan and we don't have anything else. Or do we?" She added looking at Sirius.  
  
His brow furrowed. "Well no, not really I mean it's so complicated with those two. I really can't think of anything else."  
  
"So, shall we do it?" Claire asked excitedly.  
  
He thought for a minute, "Yeah," he said, "After all what's the worst that can happen?"  
  
"Excellent." Claire said grinning happily. "Ok. So, I'll kidnap Lily you kidnap James, we'll throw them in an empty classroom lock the door and let them out in the morning. Agreed?"  
  
"Definitely. I'm not sure how I'm going to carry James, he looks pretty heavy but apart from that..."  
  
Claire laughed, "I'm sure it's nothing you can't handle." She said eying him demurely. "Shall we include Remus and Emily in our plans or not?"  
  
"Nah." Sirius said carlessly.  
  
"Why not? You might find an extra pair of hands carrying James useful." she teased  
  
"It's not that. I - I just like spending time with you is all. Alone." He grinned at her playfully.  
  
She bit her lip as she looked up at him. "Yeah, me too." She said after a while "I didn't know that you would go to such extremes to help James."  
  
"That's not the only reason I come here. As fun as it is setting James and Lil up, the real reason I come is to be with you. I really like you you know." His dark eyes were staring up at her apprehensively.  
  
Claire drew her chair closer to Sirius smiling, "Me too-" she began but then before she could continue Sirius's mouth was on hers, kissing her senseless. Hot slow lips claimed her mouth kissing her as casually and leisurely as if they had all the time in the world. Hot slow lips kissing her roughly but tenderly drowning her in passion. Claire knew that she had never been kissed like this before and was certain to never be kissed like this again. As she had expected, Sirius was basically all tongue and no lips. She drew herself closer deepening the kiss running her hands through his dark hair. When suddenly the chair they had been more or less sharing fell over, flingling Claire directly on top of Sirius.  
  
* * *  
  
Back at the boys dorm James, Remus and Peter were studying the marauders map intently.   
  
"Look." said James. "They must be right on top of each other now. You can't really see two dots anymore. It's merged into one."  
  
Peter nodded eagerly agreeing enthusiastically with James. "I wonder what they're doing." He squeaked.  
  
"Wormtail, I think it's bloody obvious what they're doing." James said looking at the smaller boy, his eyebrows raised.  
  
"Yes, yes, of course. Sorry James." James shook his head.  
  
Remus got up. "Honestly, you two. It's only a dot. It's hardly very exciting."  
  
"Moony, it's not just a dot, it's a moving dot, surely you know what that means."  
  
Remus rolled his eyes at James's immaturity. "Hey look," James suddenly observed, "They're becoming two dots again. Sirius is exiting the room, he's - he's waiting for Claire. They're coming this way-" Remus snatched the map away. "Hey" James said. "What was that for?"  
  
"It's not really your buisiness what Sirius does. When we made the map we said we wouldn't use it to spy on each other."  
  
"You're so boring." Wormtail said looking at James for approval.  
  
"No, he's right." said James reluctantly. "Anyway, he'll be in here soon enough, we can ask him then."  
  
A few minutes later Sirius bounced through the door.  
  
"Hello." said James secretively. "Anything you think you'd like to tell us?"  
  
"Huh?" Sirius said stupidly.  
  
"Like where you've just been for instance?" Remus added grinning.  
  
"Perhaps with a girl?" James continued.  
  
"Maybe in the room of requirements?"  
  
"Claire Saunders?"  
  
Sirius's jaw dropped. "How did you know?" He exclaimed. James tapped the map with his wand grinning. "Looked like things were getting a bit hot and heavy in there Padfoot." Sirius grinned. "yeah, they were I suppose. But then she said she had to go so..." He broke off shrugging. For a minute he thought James had worked out what he was really up to.  
  
"Claire Saunders." Remus said thoughtfully. "She's hot."  
  
"I know." Sirius said proudly.  
  
"Not as hot as Lily." James added looking wistful.  
  
"Oh yeah," Remus said. "Have you apologised to her yet?"  
  
James nodded.  
  
"Oh, so how did it go?" Sirius asked.  
  
James thought for a minute, then said. "I don't know."  
  
"Oh, well that's good." Sirius said clapping him on the back. "The first steps of a relationship are generally confusion."  
  
James sighed. "She has forgiven me. I think. But basically she said in a nicer way that she'd never go out with me and I should get over her."  
  
"But why won't she go out with you?" Peter chipped in.  
  
"she said she only went out with people she liked in that way." James said gloomily.  
  
"So you've got to make her like you." Sirius said triumphantly.  
  
"Yeah but in that way."  
  
"Don't worry Prongs, there was never a girl you couldn't get. Why should Lily be any different?" Remus said kindly.  
  
"Since when has Lily been like other girls?" James said. "It's typical really. She's probably the one girl I'll ever love and coincidentally the one girl I'll never have."  
  
The three boys said nothing just looked at James sympathetically. This was more than a schoolboys crush.  
  
* * *  
  
"Where have you been?" Lily asked Claire looking up from the 'Daily Prophet'. Lily and Emily were both lounged on their beds relaxing. Claire shrugged evasively. There was no knowing how Lily would react if she found out what Claire had been up to with her worst enemy's best friend.  
  
"Just wandering around. You know." she said.  
  
"Not really." Emily said looking at her suspiciously. Something was up. "Have you been with a boy?" She asked still suspicious. Claire's cheeks had a happy glow which hadn't been there for a while.  
  
"No, of course not." Claire said giving Emily an 'I'll tell you later look' Emily shrugged. "Whatever." she said.  
  
"Hey guys," said Lily suddenly "look at this." Her face was white. "What's up?" Claire said leaning over to look at the front page. She gasped. "Oh no, how awful." She snatched the paper from Lily to get a closer look. The Head Lines read 'HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED STRIKES AGAIN: MASS MUGGLE ATTACK'  
  
"Almost a hundred have died." Claire gasped.  
  
"When is this going to stop?" Emily asked. "Voldemort's still rising to power how much worse can he get?"  
  
"I don't know." Lily said, "but I hope he's stopped soon, so many people have died and it's mostly muggles and muggle borns. The Ministry of Magic don't seem to know what to do."  
  
"Where was the attack?" Emily asked.  
  
"Somewhere in Hampshire." Lily said.  
  
"Don't - don't you live in Hampshire?" Claire said tentatively.  
  
Lily nodded "But no one I knew was on the list of those who've died." She said rubbing her nose, a habit she did when she was scared.  
  
"Don't worry Lils," Claire said understanding at once, "Nothing'll happen to your parents. Voldemort never strikes in the smae place twice."  
  
"But they're both muggles and I'm a muggle born," Lily said, she looked on the verge of tears, "We'd be the perfect victims."  
  
"Don't worry." Claire said comfortingly drawing her friend up in a hug "Everything'll be Ok." She sneaked a glance at Emily who looked just as concerned about Lily as Claire.   
  
"You smell of aftershave." Lily said in a muffled voice.  
  
"Damn." Claire said. "Busted."  
  
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hi everyone. please review.  
  
  
  
This fic may turn slightly AU because I don't think they'll get together in seventh year. In fact the ending'll probably be slightly different to most L/J s so if I bother to keep writing and you bother to keep reading you'll all find out soon enough.   
  
I have absoloutly no idea how long this fic will end up. It won't be desperatly long but there are quite a few chapters left to come, so please please please review. My reviewing levels are going down drastically. I got 25 reviews for the 1st chapter but then they started going down and down and down... Anyway, PLEASE review. Think of it as your good deed for the day. 


	7. Crazy over You

Hi everyone, heres chapter 7. I'm quite proud of this chapter, I have no idea why but it's one of my favourites. Anyway, please review at the end, you know how it makes me happy. :)  
  
OVER INFLATED JERK  
  
Chapter 7 ~ Crazy Over You ~  
  
* * *  
  
"Who is it then?" Lily said her mood changing instantly.  
  
"Umm-"  
  
"See, I knew she'd been with a guy." Emily said smugly, "Spill."  
  
"See the thing is - well, put it this way - umm-"  
  
"Yeees"  
  
"Well, what terms are you on with James at the moment?" Claire asked.  
  
Lily looked confused. "Well, not too bad, I mean he's trying really hard, I don't hate him anymore. Why? What's he got to do with this?" Then comprehension dawned on her face. "Oh my God, it was him wasn't it, you've been with him."  
  
Claire looked completely shocked, Emily looked like she was thinking. "No, no way, it's Sirius." Claire said quickly, eager to remedy the situation.  
  
"Oh." said Lily, "Well, why didn't you want to tell us that? I don't have a problem with Sirius."  
  
"It's just he's James's friend and all that, I thought you might think I was betraying your trust or something if I went out with your worst enemy's best friend."  
  
Lily started to smile, "I would never think that," she said starting to laugh, "Don't worry, I'm really pleased that your going out with Sirius. "Besides," she said as an after thought, "James and I have got past the hating stage, I think-"  
  
"Speaking of you and James," Emily cut in with a smirk, "I notice you got a little flurried when you jumped to the conclusion that he was going out with Claire. Do you perhaps care a little more than you make out?"  
  
Lily gaped at her. "Don't be stupid." she said. "Potter's dating habits are of no interest to me, I couldn't care less who he went out with." she paused, "And if I did act flurried then it was just because I was worried for Claire's safety, I mean who knows what Potter's capable of!"  
  
"Yeah? Well I think anyone would care if a guy had been chasing them for four years then suddenly gave up, even you and even if it was Potter."  
  
Lily glared at her, "Don't be stupid," she said huffily. She stood up "I've got a heads meeting to go to, so I'll just leave you two deranged idiots on your own. I'll see you later." She got up from her bed and left the dorm leaving Claire and Emily gazing after her.  
  
"Hmm." Said Claire, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say she's beginning to like James Potter."  
  
"Yeah," said Emily gloomily, "But even if she does, he'd be the last person she'd tell. She can't even admit it to herself." Claire smiled to herself, the plan she and Sirius had concocted was to be put into action tomorrow after class.  
  
An hour later, Lily came bouncing back into the seventh year girls dorm, her mood completely changed, "Hey guys, guess what!" she squealed jumping onto her bed.  
  
"What?" Claire said, looking up from what she'd been doing.  
  
"Dumbledore's just told us that there's going to be a Christmas Dance."  
  
"Cool." Emily said. Then her expression changed, "You do realise what this means, don't you Lily?" She said grinning nastily  
  
Lily looked confused then said, "Yes, it means, you might find me dead on Thursday morning seeing I have to organise it Wednesday evening with Potter."  
  
"No, silly," Emily continued, "it means, we will have to take you shopping!"  
  
"What? No way, an evening with Potter's bad enough without having to go shopping as well."  
  
"Lily, darling, just what were you planning to wear to this dance?"  
  
"Umm. my school robes?"  
  
"My point exactly, we'll go the next Hogsmeade Weekend."  
  
"But-"  
  
"No buts. You do want to look nice for James don't you?"  
  
"No, I want to look nice for Amos. I want to look as awful as possible for James so he'll go off me."  
  
* * *   
  
"Say, Lily, have you seen what's in the charms classroom?"  
  
"No, why? Well whatever it is I'm sure it can't be very interesting."  
  
"No, you have to see this."  
  
"Why, what is it?"  
  
"A surprise."  
  
"Oh, I see. It's Potter isn't it. What's he done now?"  
  
"You'll see in a minute. Now shut your eyes."  
  
"Fine, fine, but this had better be - Arghhh - Claire! Let me out." Lily beat her fists against the locked door.  
  
"I will in the morning."  
  
"No, let me out NOW!"  
  
"You'll thank me later, Lily." Claire said solomnly. "It's for your own good."  
  
"How can being locked in an empty classroom possibly help me?" Lily shrieked, verging on hysteria. Claire tapped her nose with a knowing expression on her face. Lily had never wanted to punch someone so much in her life.  
  
"I'll get you later for this." She muttered to herself as Claire walked away  
  
* * *  
  
"I'm telling you Prongs. She's in there, completely naked, there's whipped cream and everything."  
  
"Why would Lily be alone in an empty charms classroom covered in whipped cream and strawberries?"  
  
"She is." Persisted Sirius. "Look, she's even there on the marauders map."  
  
"Yeah but that doesn't mean she's naked."  
  
"Yes, but just supposing that she is." Sirius said next to James's right ear, "You wouldn't want to miss that would you? It's a once in a life time opportunity."  
  
"Wouldn't it sort of be invading her privacy?" James said frowning,   
  
"Since when did you care about privacy Prongs?" Sirius scoffed. "And besides, if she cared about privacy, why would she be naked inside a classroom?"  
  
"Good point. Right, are there strawberries?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"I am so there...but," he added slowly, "I wouldn't want her to think-"  
  
"Too late!" Sirius cried gleefully shoving James into the classroom, "You don't have a choice now Prongsie, you're stuck in here until morning."  
  
"What the-? Sirius, you bloody arse let me out."  
  
"Look behind you Prongs and all will become clear."  
  
"What - Oh, hi Lily," he said, his hand flying to mess up his hair.  
  
"James." She said curtly "Sirius," she said looking at him murderously, "I swear to God, when I get out of here, you'll wish you had never been born." Sirius grinned cheekily at her, "If you don't let us out right this minute you will suffer a fate far worse than death, - I'll-"  
  
"You'll suffer a fate worse than a fate worse than death." James added.  
  
"Yeah, you too Claire." Lily said glaring as Claire's head popped into view. "I'll blast your brains out so far they'll circle timbuktoo five times. I'll, I'll-"  
  
"Lily, calm down." James said worriedly, she was turning purple.  
  
"And you," Lily said rounding on James, "Take your bloody hand out of your stupid hair. You know I hate it when you do that. Urgh." She stalked off to a corner of the room.  
  
"Bye guys," Sirius said cheerfully. He put his arm around Claire and walked off with her. "I'll bet that by the morning, they'll be the best of friends." He said grinning.  
  
Claire smiled, "Yeah, it's that or we've just made Lily mad and set her on James."  
  
"Hmm, true, well it's a 50-50 chance."  
  
Claire laughed and kissed Sirius. "Go to the dance with me." He said, breaking off the kiss.  
  
"Who else did you think I'd go with?" Claire said smiling.  
  
* * *  
  
"Look Lily, I know the circumstances aren't ideal but there's nothing we can do about it. They've done some sort of charm so we can't unlock the door even with our wands. We're just going to have to make the most of things."  
  
"Easy for you to say, I had a lot of things to do tonight. I had that huge potions essay to do and Dumbledore said I had to start organising the dance."  
  
"With me. We're meant to do that together."   
  
"James, since when have you actually helped me with any of our duties? When we patrol the corridors at night, you're patrolling them under an invisibility cloak with your stupid friends-"  
  
"I don't do that any more." James said in injured tones. "I did want you to notice that, you know. It seems you notice the bad things about me but never the good. It's like you're determined to hate me."  
  
"Don't be absurd." Lily said, although she knew that what James said was partly true. "And please don't lets talk about this. You know my feelings on the subject."  
  
"Fine." James said. He pulled out his wand. "Fine, if that's the way you want it, then that's the way it'll be."  
  
"James, what are you doing?" Lily asked going slightly white.   
  
"I'm doing what you said you wanted to do."  
  
"What do you mean?" She said slightly worried. "Put that wand down."  
  
"I'm sorry Lily, but I have to do this, I-"  
  
"James, are you listening to me? Put that wand down right now!" There was a definite note of panic in her voice now.  
  
"No, I'm sorry but I can't do that." James raised the wand, to be level with his head, then cried "Accio parchment and quill." He said the spell, almost lazily. He turned and grinned at Lily.  
  
"You bastard." Lily shrieked. "I thought you were going to do something stupid."  
  
James shrugged. "At least I know you care now." He grinned at her. All Lily could do was goggle at him.   
  
A few seconds later some parchment and a quill crashed into the glass of the door. Lily giggled despite herself  
  
"Damn." James swore. He walked over to the door, knelt down and said the charm again. This time the parchment came whizzing through the crack beneath the door and the quill came flying through the key hole. James grinned at Lily. She laughed.  
  
"It's a pity the glass didn't break when they came crashing into it. We could have escaped."  
  
"You should be so lucky." He said, glad to have Lily in a good mood again. "Right, so this dance."  
  
For the next hour or so, the two sat planning out the dance scheduled for Christmas Eve. Not arguing, not flirting, just talking, like friends or siblings would do.  
  
"Lily, a month is a long time. We don't have to plan it all tonight."  
  
"I just want to get the decorations sorted," she said not looking up, a tiny frown on her forehead. James thought she had never looked more gorgeous. "We've got the Christmas Trees sorted out and the mistle-toe, obviously-"  
  
"Go with me."  
  
"What?" Lily said looking up at him, startled.  
  
"Go with me."  
  
"I can't I'm going with Amos." She said weakly, lowering her eyes.  
  
"Forget Diggory, look at us Lily, we're good together. Look how much we've got done on this dance. We get on, we have things in common, we're right for each other-"  
  
"Not now James," Lily said tiredly putting her face in her hands. "Don't spoil it, as you said, we get on now as friends but not as anything more. It wouldn't work."  
  
"How do you know?" He shot back. "How will you ever know anything if you don't try Lily? That's what life's about, trying new things, new experiences." He took her hand.  
  
"James don't-"  
  
"No, you listen to me. - You know in life that not everything's handed to you on a silver platter. That's one of the things I love about you, but you're so caught up looking for something else, maybe something in Amos, I don't know, that you're failing to see what's right in front of you. Me, Lily, how can you not see how good we'd be together?"   
  
She stared at him, her mouth half open, then shook her head slightly, "Have, have you ever considered," she began slowly "that you have that problem where you, um, have beliefs that you're meant to be with a person, or that person is meant to be with you? Erotomania or something-"  
  
"Lily, I'm being serious."  
  
"So am I," She said giggling.  
  
"Lily!"  
  
"Alright, look, this isn't easy for either of us, you like me, I don't like you. I don't know how to put this any clearer. We will never be together, and I know it might be hard for you but I really think you should move on."  
  
James paused, then said with such sincerity that caught Lily's breath, "I would move on, Lily, I really would but this is a special case. I know we're meant for each other. You obviously haven't figured that out yet, but when you do Lily, and you will, I'll be here, still waiting for you like I always have been. And by God Lily," he carried on earnestly, "You'd better figure it out soon, or I don't know what I'll do. I'm going crazy over you."  
  
* * *  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
* * *   
  
hi guys, do u like this chapter? do u not like this chapter? Either way, I would love u 2 tell me. If u have any suggestions or constructice criticism I would like to hear that too.   
  
This chapter is quite long for my standards so please review and tell me what u think, cos I don't really know where to go next from here  
  
see you next chapter  
  
~Magical Me~ 


	8. While They Were Sleeping

Over Inflated Jerk  
  
Chapter 8  
  
While they were sleeping   
  
* * *  
  
Lily woke up the next morning in an unusually good mood. However her happiness quickly evaporated when she realised she was in a rather unorthodox position. She and James had fallen asleep the night before just lying down besides one another but somehow in the night this had changed. They're legs were entwined together and James's arms were around Lily's waist hugging her close to him. It was safe to say that Lily was completely stuck. Not wanting to awake James, who, though she hated to admit looked rather like something sent from heaven while he slept, Lily pretended to be asleep. (If James woke up then she didn't want him to know that rather than get up and wake him she'd chosen to stay in this very inapproprite position.)  
  
This left Lily alone with her thoughts, which was rather unsatisfactory seeing they kept saying ridiculous and worrying things, for example that she liked James. This, Lily reminded herself was so ridiculous it was laughable, not to mention sickening. She was becoming fond of James that was true, but there was absoloutly no hope of anything further than friendship. Infact there wasn't even much hope of that. Every time she and James were alone together he would always make some sort of advance on her and scare her off, or she would be reminded of what a prick he was. Or used to be, no, Lily corrected herself, no he was still a prick. And besides if she ever needed any reassurance there was Amos, every time she thought of him, her doubts in James were put to rest. Lily had dreamed of Amos ever since she'd met him, all those years of loving him from afar, but now she had him and when her thoughts turned to him, James Potter's face was washed away like a sand castle returning to the sea. He was her salvation, the best thing that had ever happened to her and the chances that she'd give that up were zero.  
  
The night before had been, well, entertaining, Lily reflected. She and James had talked into the early hours of the morning before drifting off into a pleasant sleep. Well that was debatable, Lily thought, it depended on whether dreaming about James was in fact dreaming or some sort of nightmare cunningly disguised. And Lily as you would by now expect chose the latter. Anything connected to James had to be bad, right? Especially if it was a dream where Lily was infact married to James. Now that just had to come out tops on the worst nightmare possible board. Lily had also come up with an explanation as to why she should be dreaming about James anyway. It was only natural that he, being the last thing she saw before falling asleep should be on her mind, and the fact that they were married, well that was only because Amos was in her sub-conscious too. It was all very simple and logical, Lily thought, nothing to worry about at all.  
  
James shifted his position slightly and opened his eyes. He blinked, why were he and Lily all tangled up together? Not that he was complaining or anything, it was just a bit ... unexpected. He took it she was asleep seeing her eyes were still closed. Her hair was splashed out over his chest standing out vibrantly against his black robes. He picked up a lock of red hair and played with it thoughtfully admiring it's beauty. Her face was turned angelically upwards towards him, her black lashes stood out enticingly on her creamy white skin and she had several freckles sprinkled delicately across her nose. She was, James thought the most beautiful thing that he had ever encountered on. If he had to make a guess on what angels looked like, Lily Evans was probably as close as you could get.  
  
The night before had been interesting. James didn't know whether to kill Sirius for locking him in a classroom with Lily or thank him. They'd done their fair share of arguing, which was typical of Lily and James but their relationship wasn't going anywhere. James frequently dispaired over what to do, he loved Lily with such a passion he'd thought it impossible. Up until this year James's attraction to Lily had been purely physical and based on the way she was so feisty, but now after following Remus's advice, he had got to know her and found out what an amazing person she was.   
  
Now that James did know her better, he was convinced that they were a perfect match. It might not seem so looking in from the outside, they were always fighting and it seemed that no matter how much James loved Lily, she would never love him back. There was also Amos, James thought, grimacing. Lily was obviously very happy with him, but if only he was out of the picture Lily would surely realise her true feelings for him, James. There was nothing he was more certain of than this. He knew Lily, she was stubborn and strong willed. Once she made her mind up it was hard to persuade her otherwise, and it was quite obvious that she was determined not to like him. Her reasons for this, James wasn't quite sure of. It was perhaps something to do with that over-inflated jerk comment she had made in fifth year. James was quite sure that this was a thing of the past and he was in no way an over-inflated jerk anymore. He was over confident and arrogant at times but that was healthy for a teenage boy. The fact remained that Lily had a fixed image of James stereotyped in her mind. And that image was not good.   
  
It was in fact, James thought glumly, mainly his fault that his main chance to be with Lily was now gone. If he hadn't been so awful when he was younger, then things might be alot different now. He didn't curse Snivellus much anymore, and he hadn't cursed anyone just for fun in ages, but Lily had not noticed this, all she had noticed were the bad things about James, which was bloody typical he thought frustrated.  
  
Lily senseing James was awake, opened her eyes cautiously, emerald met brown and in one dizzying moment their eyes were locked together. Lily shook her head, shaking away the feeling. She rolled off James and sat up.   
  
"Sorry," he said, "I probably thought you were a teddybear in the night or something."  
  
"You have a teddybear?" Lily asked incredulously.  
  
He grinned, "Yeah, don't you?"  
  
Lily laughed softly, she stood up and walked over to the door, "So," she said awkwardly, "When do you think we'll be set free from here?"  
  
James stretched and got up, "Good question," he said, "It all depends on whether Sirius and Claire remember, so..." He paused, "We could be in here for ever, given Sirius's attention span."  
  
"Oh, great." Lily said and went back and sat down. "Do you know what the time is?"  
  
"Yeah, it's just gone seven."  
  
"Does Sirius like to sleep in?"  
  
"Every day."  
  
"Perfect, we really are going to be locked in here for ever."  
  
"Well classes begin at nine, so maybe Flitwick will let us out."  
  
"James, I don't know if this situation happens often with you, but don't you think Flitwick will be just a tad suspicious if he finds us locked in an empty classroom?" James looked confused, "All night long?"  
  
"Oh right," James said thoughtfully, "Now that's a good point."  
  
"Yes," Said Lily, "It is, and seeing Claire could sleep for England it looks like we'll be facing that situation fairly soon."  
  
James snorted, "I doubt Flitwick would even notice us, I bet that if we hid..." He scanned the room thoughtfully, "We need height, Flitwick is only two feet tall so if we hide high up..."  
  
"James there isn't anything high in here, the highest things are the desks. It's all low down so that Flitwick can reach it."  
  
James gazed round the room resignedly, "You're right," He said glumly.  
  
"I know," Lily said, "Do you have a spoon?"  
  
"Pardon?"  
  
"A digging implement, we can dig our way out."  
  
"Lily, as great as that plan would be, why the hell would I carry a spoon around with me?"  
  
"Well given that your favourite thing, apart from stalking me is eating, I'd expect you to carry a full set of cutlery with you everywhere you go."  
  
James laughed, "Well, even if I did, and I don't, I use my hands, I don't think a spoon would get us anywhere, so unless you have a garden spade in your pocket..." he trailed off grinning.  
  
"Ha ha," she said, "I meant you could transfigure the spoon into something."  
  
"Lily," James said, "I really don't think this plan will get us anywhere, and besides," He added thoughtfully, "I think we'd get in a sight more trouble if we dug a hole out of a classroom, than if we'd been locked in it for the night."  
  
"True, and also if Flitwick is the one who finds us, he might give Sirius and Claire detention."  
  
"Good plan."  
  
"So we just wait?"  
  
"We'll have to."  
  
"Great," Lily said grimacing.  
  
* * *  
  
At about eight O clock, Lily and James heard the pattering of footsteps on wooden floor, Lily rushed to the door and peered through the glass as far as she could see.  
  
"What can you see?" James asked.  
  
"Nothing at the moment . . . Whoa, Ok, I didn't want to see that." Lily said as James heard a huge thump on the floor.  
  
"Is it them?" He asked.  
  
"It's them alright," Lily said grimacing and backing away from the door. James took her place there instead, he looked left, he looked right - nothing.  
  
"Try looking down." Lily said seeing his confusion. James looked down. "Oh." was all he said. Claire and Sirius were, well currently involved.  
  
"Oy, you two!?" James shouted through the door. Claire and Sirius looked up and saw his face pressed against the window. They smirked.  
  
"Let us out!" They heard Lily shout from somewhere within the classroom, "Or we'll take away points for public display of affection in the corridors."  
  
Claire and Sirius got up grumbling, "What do you think, Siri?" Claire said in a sickly sweet voice, 'Siri?' Lily mouthed incredulously at Claire. She smirked agian. "Do you think we should let them out?"   
  
Sirius saw James and Lily's murderous faces and gulped, "Um, yeah ok." he said, "As long as they don't hurt us."  
  
Claire muttered the charm which would unlock the door and it swung open. Lily stalked out her nose in the air not giving either of them a second glance.  
  
"Thanks mate," James said stuffing the plans for the dance in his pocket.  
  
"So?" Claire said excitedly, "How did it go?"  
  
James shrugged. "Fine, interesting conversation about spoons," and he rushed off in the direction of breakfast.  
  
Sirius flung his arm round Claire's shoulders. "Did we just make a huge mistake locking those two in together?"  
  
"Nah, if I know Lily she'd have cursed us into oblivion by now if it was so bad, and they haven't killed each other. I'd say it went well."  
  
"So," He said playfully, "now that our work's done, it looks like we have some spare time on our hands,"  
  
"Seems like it," Claire said as Sirius pushed her up against the wall, claiming her lips in another sizzling kiss.  
  
* * *   
  
"He's looking at you again." Emily said shoving bacon into her mouth.  
  
"I know." said Lily like it was nothing out of the ordinary, "I'm used to it by now. It's comforting in a very weird way."  
  
Emily sighed dreamily, "Like having your own guardian angel looking out for you."  
  
Lily eyed her strangely, "you read too many romance novels," She said half smiling, but she didn't contradict her, "Have you seen Amos?"  
  
"No, but seeing he gets up freakishly early and you were locked in a class room until quite late on, I expect you probably just missed each other."  
  
Lily nodded and shoved another spoonful of cereal into her mouth. "I'll see him in herbology anyway." she said, "I wonder how he'll react when I tell him I've been locked in a classroom with James all night."  
  
"You're actually going to tell him?" Emily said, looking at Lily disbelievingly.  
  
"Sure, we tell each other everything, and besides he'll know nothing happened because he knows I hate James."  
  
"You don't hate James," Emily said, "You're just too stuborn to admit otherwise." Lily glared at her. "You're actually incredibly lucky to have someone like James love you the way he does."  
  
"Well even so, I've got Amos. I don't need James." Lily said in her most obstinate voice.  
  
"Well, you're even more lucky then. You have two men crazy about you, I've got no one."  
  
Lily looked at Emily sympathetically, "Oh come on, there are loads of boys who'd love to go out with you, what about Richard Corner? I saw him looking at you the other day."  
  
"Lily, he's like the biggest playboy ever, he'd pull anything as long as it was wearing a skirt." Lily shrugged, but said nothing, "You've got Amos and James," Emily continued, "And now Claire and Sirius are like sex buddies-"  
  
"What!?" Lily exclaimed, shocked "Are they sleeping together already? Why didn't Claire tell me?"  
  
"I don't think she's had the chance, she only told me this morning, apparently they did it last night."  
  
"Oh my God," Lily said, "I can't believe her, they've only been going out for about a week."  
  
Emily shrugged, "But you've seen how into each other they are and it's not like Claire was a virgin or anything."  
  
Lily was shocked by this piece of information but she could tell Emily would rather talk about something else. She decided to quiz Claire about it later, but for the time being she'd have to give all her attention to Emily who was obviously feeling depressed.   
  
It wasn't that Emily was ugly she just wasn't as naturally beautiful as Claire and Lily. She was quite tall and flat chested, with hazel eyes and although her blonde hair was a nice colour it was quite frizzy and out of control, however she was one of the nicest people Lily had ever met and if boys didn't notice that then they weren't worth bothering about.  
  
"Listen," Lily said, "I know you don't have a boyfriend right at the moment, but you know there's someone out there for you, you're the one who reads the romance novels here. I guarentee that you'll meet someone who's just as nice as you."  
  
"Yeah right." Emily said dully,  
  
  
  
"Seriously, me and Claire will find you a date for the Christmas Dance and, well, you never know." She grinned at Emily suggestively, "I might even be able to get James to go with you."  
  
Emily smiled at her, "It's nice of you," she said, "but I'd never go with James."  
  
"Why not?" Lily said confused, "I thought you liked him."  
  
"I do, but there wouldn't be any point. He's head over heels for you and I wouldn't want to be the one who stops you from getting together."  
  
"Emily," Lily said laughing. "Me and James are not going to get together,"  
  
"Yes you are," Emily said yawning sleepily, "when you get over Amos, anyway."  
  
"What do you mean?" Lily asked, now slightly annoyed, "Me and Amos are in love, we're not going to break up."  
  
"You will at some point." Emily said grinning, "And then you'll get with James, providing he still likes you by that time of course."  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
Hey guys, did you like it? I know it was slightly boring and you all wanted Lily to jump into James's arms and shag him senseless, but that's not going to happen just yet. :) But it is becoming really hard to keep making Lily refuse James, thta girl has will power  
  
Any way please review and tell me your thoughts. The more reviews, the quicker I update. 


	9. Party in the Pool

"YOU DID WHAT?" Amos's voice echoed around the greenhouse and Lily was fairly sure that even the wizards on Mars would have heard it. (Yes, there are wizards who live on Mars.)  
  
"Honey, calm down," she said, motioning to her class mates to continue working "Nothing happened, you know the way I feel about James,"   
  
Amos's expression softened, "Yeah, and I also know how he feels about you, you can't blame me for feeling uneasy."  
  
Lily smiled at him, "I don't blame you one bit, I'd be suspicious too, but I swear nothing happened, and besides," she added, "you know I'd have much rather spend the evening with you, I unfortunately didn't have any choice though." She looked up at him, "How about we make up for it tonight, you're not doing anything are you?" She could see he was relenting,  
  
"No, I'm not." He said, "Ok, then, I'll pick you up from outside the gryffindor common room, seven thirty ok with you?"  
  
"Of course," She said and kissed him on the cheek.  
  
"Miss Evans really," said Professor Sprout, "I'm afraid I'll have to take five points from Gryffindor for this, and you being head girl. You should be setting an example, honestly." She muttered as she scurriered past Amos and a giggling Lily.   
  
* * *  
  
Lily and Claire sat alone in the common room, it was seven fifteen and Lily was waiting for Amos. However for the remaining fifteen minutes she had left, she was not going to let Claire go until she told her everything.  
  
"Lily," she whined, "I've already told you everything there is,"  
  
Lily snorted, "Yeah but I already knew the main part of it, I just want to know how it happened and when and why-"  
  
"Ok, ok," Claire resigned, "But it's really not that interesting." Lily snorted, " Ok, well we were just in the astronomy tower, and we were just kissing and all that stuff like you do," Lily nodded encouragingly, "And we got up to go 'cause it was like two in the morning and we couldn't afford to get caught, and we came back here, and we were about to go our seperate ways when he hooked his hand into my back pocket and he pulled me back to him, and he was just so passionate, and so sexy," she paused and looked at Lily, who was looking slightly amused and slightly appraising, "And then," Claire continued, "We sort of sank down on one of the sofas and he was pushing for it, I could tell-"  
  
"Hold on," Lily said, "let me stop you there for just a minute, umm, just which sofa was it by the way?"  
  
"Ahh," Claire said, "It was - umm - It was," She looked around, "I think it was this one."  
  
"WHAT? Eww," Lily shrieked jumping up and rubbing her hands on her skirt, "You could have told me, why couldn't we have sat somewhere else?"  
  
Claire shrugged, looking slightly guilty, "Forgot I guess," she said.  
  
"Well where is is safe to sit?" Lily asked her hands on her hips.  
  
Claire scanned the room, "umm, maybe that patch of carpet in the corner." She looked at Lily slightly scared.  
  
"Oh my God," Lily gaped at her, "Claire! That's like a total sex fest you little slut!"  
  
Claire managed to supress laughs as Lily lectured her on how the whole place was probably completely contaminated and how inconsiderate it was to let other people catch diseases, and also on how it was completely irresponsible to sleep with Sirius after only a week of dating him.  
  
"I mean honestly, Claire, you could at least hang a sign over all the furniture saying 'Do not sit here and if you do wash your hands afterwards'." Lily finished.  
  
"Lily," Claire said, "Are you going to let me finish?"  
  
Lily snorted, "I don't think I need to hear the rest, it's pretty damn obvious."  
  
"Well at least sit down then, there's still five minutes until Amos'll be here."  
  
"And just where do I sit?" Lily asked icily  
  
"Well, there's that piece of carpet,-"  
  
"Over in the corner." Lily finished her sentence for her, "Thank you Claire," She said sitting down in the secluded corner, "now I'm never going to feel safe in the common room."  
  
"Oh come on Lily, I'm eighteen, I'm responsible for myself now." Claire pleaded, but Lily was still looking slightly disgusted. "look I can tell you disapprove, but me and Sirius, it feels like we have a real connection. I really like him Lily and he really likes me." She paused, "Lily, I think I'm falling for him."  
  
Lily looked up at her, her mouth slightly open but was saved from saying anything by the arrival of James,  
  
"Hello ladies," he said. Lily rolled her eyes. Then he spotted her "Lily, why are you sitting over there?" He asked confused.  
  
"Ask her." Lily said pointing at Claire, James turned to Claire, "Ask Sirius," she said. James shrugged and went to sit by Lily.  
  
"Hey Lily,"  
  
"Hi."  
  
James suddenly felt rather intimidated of her, "hey," he said again, "Umm, I was wondering Lily, if you'd like to come and get a butter beer at the three broomsticks with me?"  
  
Lily looked at him surprised, "but it's not a Hogsmeade weekend," she said.  
  
"Doesn't matter, I have my ways, "He persisted, "will you come?" He added hopefully, "just as friends, you know for a chat or something, I won't try anything I promise."  
  
Lily stood up and checked her watch. "I'm sorry James," she said and her voice was sincere, "But I have a date."  
  
"Oh," James said, "Amos I suppose?"  
  
"Yeah," she replied uneasily,  
  
James sounded ready to laugh, "Right, I knew I shouldn't have bothered asking."   
  
"I'm sorry, James," Lily said again, "I mean it, I am, maybe if I hadn't been doing anything I'd've gone, but i'm not going to stand Amos up."  
  
James nodded, "Would you really have come if you hadn't been busy?" He asked hopefully.  
  
Lily shrugged, "I don't know." She said off-handedly, "Maybe, anyway, I have to go now, Bye guys," She opened the portrait hole, "Claire, I really think you should clean this room, I mean think of the poor house elves." She shut the door just in time to hear James go "Huh? What's she on about?"  
  
* * *  
  
"So am I forgiven?" Lily asked Amos as she buried her face in his chest.  
  
"Of course," he said lifting up her chin to kiss her again. The two were taking a walk past the lake. It was nearing eleven O clock, and the dark velvety sky was knitted with stars, Lily had never felt more romantic in her life. They were walking now, Lily's head resting on his shoulder.  
  
"You look really beautiful tonight you know." Amos said,  
  
Lily smiled to herself, "thanks," she said, they walked on in silence for a while, "So, erm, what would you like for Christmas?" She said, grappling for conversation,  
  
"You know I'd love anything you got me," He said, urgh, cheesy, Lily thought, but she smiled and said, "I'll remember that."  
  
"What about you?" He asked her, pulling her round to face him. "Is there anything you want?"  
  
"Not in particular," she said.  
  
"I'll just have to surprise you then, won't I." Lily giggled, she pulled him down onto the ground so that he was lying next to her. Suddenly they were both very aware of each other's breathing and Lily felt a tingling thrill at their close proximity, that was one of the things she loved about Amos, the way he could excite her and make her feel special. The clouds cleared and the moon lighted up their two faces, Amos put out a hand and touched the side of her face, but before he could kiss her, she rolled on top of him and kissed him, it was passionate, erotic, burning with unshown feeling.  
  
Amos broke it off and looked at her surprised, "You're awfully feisty these days Lil," he said smiling.  
  
"Am I?" Lily said mischievously, propping herself up on her elbow looking at him demurely,  
  
"Yeah," he said, "Almost . . . kinky." She grinned and leant down to kiss him again, but this time Amos didn't restrain himself, his hands roamed everywhere, covering almost all her body, he felt around for her bra strap and was about to undo it when Lily stopped him, "No, don't," she said, "Not now,"  
  
"Oh Sorry," He said, "I didn't, I thought-"  
  
"It's Ok," Lily said, turning her face away, "It doesn't matter. . . Come on, it's getting late,"  
  
"Yeah," He sighed, "you're right," He got up, and offered his hand to Lily, helping her up. The couple walked back to the Gryffindor common room in silence.  
  
"Well, goodnight, Lil," He said when they got there. She grinned back at him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She kissed him slowly but firmly on the mouth. "Good night." She said and disappeared into the common room.  
  
She burst into the dorm feeling more happy than she had in ages. She found Claire and Emily still awake, Emily was finishing a Potions assignment and Claire was painting her toe nails, they smiled at her acknowledging her presence. She grinned back at them, "Not on a midnight romp with Sirius tonight?" She said to Claire.  
  
"Nah, not tonight. She said  
  
"Did you clean the common room?" Lily said.  
  
At this Emily looked up from her homework. "Err, Lily, didn't you notice it when you came in?" She asked incredulously.  
  
"She was probably too busy off in another world with Amos to notice much in this world." Claire said grinning.  
  
"You're probably right there," Lily said, "Why what's wrong with it?"  
  
Claire and Emily exchanged glances, Lily looked at them suspiciously, "What've you done?" She said, then not giving them time to answer she rushed out of the dorm and down the stairs. Oh my God, she thought, how is it I didn't notice this? The bottom five inches of the common room were completely flooded with water, she was suddenly very aware of how cold her feet were. She leaned over and touched the nearest chair, it was completely drenched. She looked back at the stairs behind her to see Claire and Emily looking at her apprehensively.  
  
Lily walked up the stairs towards them, "How come I didn't notice this," she said puzzled.  
  
Claire shrugged, "Maybe you were literally floating with happiness!" She said nervously, obviously waiting for Lily to explode with anger, but to her surprise she didn't. Instead she started laughing. Soon all three of them were rolling around on the stairs in hysterics.  
  
"How on earth," said Lily in between giggles, "Did you manage this one? I mean I know you're accident prone and all that, but this is really. . ." and she was off again. Lily soon learned that Claire and Emily had tried a cleaning charm but it had backfired and ended up squirting water out of their wands at a ridiculous speed and power, by the time they had figured out how to stop it the place was flooded and they hadn't know how to undo it.  
  
The noise the three were making had soon woken up the majority of Gryffindor. Sirius appeared at the top of the stair case saying, "What the fuck is going on down here?" Obviously not in a good mood haven been woken up from his beauty sleep, then he saw the water, "Hey cool, it's a party in the pool," after that they had come thick and fast, even the first years, in fact with the exception of a few killjoys the whole of Gryffindor was in there, just generally having a good time, splashing each other and ducking each other in the shallow water, "I think it'd be safe to say that you cleaned the place effectively," said Lily to Claire laughing, "But how the hell do we clear it up?"  
  
"That's what we were relying on you for." said Claire, "you're the one who's good at charms here."  
  
After a couple of hours most people had gone back to bed, only the marauders, Lily, Claire and Emily were left. Claire and Sirius were sitting on a soggy chair, kissing. Lily was starting to feel uneasy, "I don't suppose you know how to clear this mess up do you?" She asked James.  
  
"No, idea." He said,  
  
"Emily?" Lily called, Emily looked up from her chat with Remus, "Yeah?" She said.  
  
"What charm did you use exactly to flood this place?"  
  
"Scourgify, I think."  
  
"Do you know the reverse charm of that?" Lily said again to James, he ran his fingers through his hair in thought then shook his head slowly,   
  
"Not a clue I'm afraid."  
  
"Great, just great, how on earth do we clear this up?"  
  
Just then the portrait hole swung open and Mcgonagol appeared, her nostrils flared in anger and her face white. Sirius and Claire sprang apart.  
  
"What, is going on in here?" She said her voice slow and icy with rage, "Would you care to explain?" The seven shot each other nervous glances, "My office now!" She barked, "I think that Dumbledore should be informed of this."  
  
They all filed out the room in silence, each fearing the worst, as they entered Mcgonogal's office which was directly below the common room, they all noticed a large puddle of water still growing bigger to the left of her desk. Lily chewed her lip wondering what would happen, she felt ashamed of herself, it might not have been her fault but she hadn't taken responsibility and now they would all be in trouble.  
  
"So!?" Said Mcgonogal crisply as Dumbledore looking very grave took a seat beside her, "Explain to me, just why is the Gryfindor common room flooded?"  
  
Before Lily or James could say anything, Claire spoke up, "I'm sorry Professor, it's completely my fault,"  
  
"And mine," Emily added, "You see-"  
  
"We are both very supportive of the freedom of House Elves and we just thought that-"  
  
"They had too much work to do" said Emily seeing where Claire was going with this, "So we thought it would be a nice surprise if they found the common room had already been cleaned-"  
  
"But unfourtunately our charm back fired," Claire continued, this was the truth after all, "And we couldn't stop it,"  
  
"And by the time we found out how to stop it the whole room was flooded, and no one knew a reverse charm,-"  
  
"That's why James, Sirius, Remus, Peter and Lily were there too, but no one knew how to undo it."  
  
"We're sorry Professor, we won't do it again." Emily said hanging her head in mock shame.  
  
"Is this the truth?" Dumbledore asked, the corners of his mouth fighting a smile.  
  
The seven nodded their heads immediately, "We're sorry," Lily said, "It was very irresponsible of us to not fetch you,"  
  
"Yes Miss Evans, I am slightly disappointed in you and Mr Potter, being the heads of the school I would expect you to keep things under control. In the future if anything of this - er - of this nature happens again I want you to come straight to me."  
  
"We will," Lily said eagerly, "It won't happen again."  
  
"Yes, quite, I'm not going to punnish any of you specifically but I must ask you to clear up the mess."  
  
James opened his mouth to ask how, but before he could ask the question, Dumbledore carried on, "And seeing none of you know how to clear it up, you'll have to do it the muggle way," He smiled at them as he handed them each a mop and bucket.  
  
James's mouth fell open, "You mean, with all this stuff?" he said looking at Dumbledore disbelievingly.  
  
"Yes Mr Potter, with this stuff, I'm sure the flower beds outside the window won't suffer from a little hydration." Dumbledore smiled at them as if expecting one of them to say something, but they however said nothing.  
  
* * *  
  
"I can't believe this," James grumbled as he tipped a bucket full of water out the window half an hour later. "It's ridiculous, just because Sirius and Claire decided to have a sex fest,"  
  
"Hey," Sirius said, "Just 'cause you're not getting any Prongs, doesn't mean you have to take it out on us!"  
  
James glared at him and emptied his bucket of water over Sirius's head. Lily snorted at them, "It's a Saturday tomorrow, isn't it?" She said.  
  
"yep," said James brightening up, "And a Hogsmeade weekend."  
  
"Oh, Excellent," Claire said smirking.  
  
"What?" Said Lily turning to face her.  
  
"We get to take you shopping remember," said Emily grinning evily.  
  
"Oh buggar," Lily siad quietly  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
hi everyone, sorry this took so long, ive just been really busy. please review 


	10. The Simply Most Beautiful Dress

A/N  Hi everyone.  Sorry this took so long.  I've just been busy with school and stuff.

To remind you whats happened, 

James is still trying to win Lily over her to no avail. Lily is being a stubborn wench. Sirius is going out with Claire Lily is going out with Amos There's is going to be a christmas dance (organised by James and Lily) and Claire and Emily are forcing Lily to go shopping. Err, it's been so long that I've forgotten most things of any importamce.  Hopefully you dudes remember more than me. 

Anyway nevertheless please review.  See you next chapter!!!

**Over Inflated Jerk**

**Part 10**

Lily Evans just so happened to be the type of person who hated to shop.  From an early age, Claire and Emily had done everything within their power to alter this but after seven years nothing had changed.  It was really very frustrating, not just for Claire and Emily, but for Lily too.  Lily at this particular moment was being dragged about hogsmeade in a manner which she considered most unorthodox.  Her wrists were red and sore from her 'friends' tight grip and after numerous attempts she had not yet escaped.  She fumed silently as they passed the ice cream parlour.  "Couldn't we just for one minute?"  She pleaded to her captors.

"Absolutely not!"  Claire exclaimed.  "There's work to be done.  You do realise this is our last chance to get dresses for the dance.  It is next Thursday you know."

"Of course I know."  Lily grumbled, "It's me who's been organising it."

"Well there you go!  You do want to look nice don't you?"

Lily muttered something incoherent.  Emily was sure she heard the words 'curtains' and 'customise'.   Luckily she didn't put two and two together and settled on the theory that Lily had finally cracked.  It had been a long time coming.

Things could simply not get worse Lily decided as the trio stumbled into Madam Malkins store.  Until, "Oh bugger!"

"What?  Not pleased to see us Lilykins?"  It was Sirius, James and Remus.  They didn't stock clothes small enough for Peter so he had gone elsewhere.

Lily turned to Emily and Claire.  "Please," she said, "its one thing to force me into shopping but this – this is just cruel."  

Claire grinned at her sympathetically.  "Sorry hon," she said "but this is the only place that sells decent stuff."  Lily glared at her.  They were doing this on purpose.  She knew it.

"Hello dears."  Said who they supposed was Madam Malkin.  "What can I do for you?"  

"It's for her." Emily said pointing to Lily who scowled back at her.  Claire whispered something to the plump old lady who gave a merry laugh and then beckoned the girls over to a row of what even Lily admitted were beautiful dresses.  The marauders looked on in utmost interest.

"You'd look just ravishing in this one dear."  Madam Malkin exclaimed extracting a fabulous dress from the rack.  There were 'Oohs' and 'Aahs' from all the onlookers including Lily.  It was simply gorgeous.  The material was made of silk and was so delicate that it literally floated.  It was a creamy colour colour and there was the most intricate detail on the bodice.  "It's beautiful." Lily breathed.

"Made by the Elves of Eminton."  The old lady said proudly.  "Extremely hard to come by these days.  Very rare."  Lily hadn't a clue who the Elves of Eminton were, but she assumed they must be good.  She could tell by Claire and Emily's awed expressions that they must be.  Maybe it was like the wizard equivalent of Versace or something.

"Why don't you try it on?"  The old lady said, "You'd be the belle of the ball in this."

Lily obligingly went into the dressing room and slipped it on.  It really was breath taking, she felt a million dollars in it even though that morning she hadn't even brushed her hair, let alone put on any makeup.  It brought out every curve in her figure and she sweared that most of them hadn't previously existed.  Shyly, she stepped out of the dressing room.   

There was an amazed silence.

"Lily, you look absolutely sensational."  Remus said.  Sirius nodded whilst eyeing her up and down approvingly.  James didn't seem capable of saying anything and simply opened and closed his mouth in a most inarticulate manner.  Lily was a little disappointed, she had for some reason wanted him to compliment her.  But that was nonsense; the jealous looks from Claire and Emily were more than satisfactory.  

"My dear," Madam Malkin said, "you really must take this dress.  I could never imagine it looking more fabulous on anyone but you."

"How much is it?"  Lily asked slightly timidly.

"Umm, well, it's quite expensive."  Madam Malkin said evasively.  "But I'm sure it would be worth it.  It does look beautiful on you."

"So how much is it?"  Emily said impatiently.  "I'm sure we can afford it."

"It's, well, it's a thousand galleons." Madam Malkin said.

"What?"  Lily exclaimed.  "A thousand galleons just for a dress!"  She looked at her friends dismayed.  Their money couldn't even pay for a quarter of it.

"Yes, it is a shame."  Madam Malkin said, "But it is made by the Elves of Eminton.  You get what you pay for."

"I'm sorry."  Lily said disappointed "but I can't take it.  I don't have nearly enough money."

"I'll get it for her."

"What?"  Lily said turning around.  "Oh, your still here."  James rolled his eyes.  "I'll take it for her."  He said to Madam Malkin, flashing her a smile.  To his disgust she turned all fluttery and giggly.  "Oh how kind of you" She simpered.  "Isn't that nice dear?"  She said turning to Lily.  James wished his charms worked so well on a certain 'other' person as he fumbled around for some sort of card in his pockets.

"James, don't be so ridiculous!"  She said looking at him incredulously.  "There's no way you could afford to waste a thousand galleons."

"Yes, well I wouldn't be wasting it."  He said grinning at her.  "Anything that can make you even more gorgeous than you already are, is worth more than a thousand galleons."  Lily gaped at him.  James took her silence as an opportunity to carry on.  "I didn't think it was possible for you to look any more beautiful, but I've been proved wrong.  You really do look incredible."

Lily shook herself out of the trance she'd fallen into.  "James, honestly!"  She said.  "I really can't let you spend a thousand galleons on me.  I insist!"

"You can have it at half price."  Butted in Madam Malkin, seeming eager to help.

"That's still five hundred galleons."  Lily said.  "James, you must be mad."

He shrugged as he handed his card to Madam Malkin.  "Probably, but we're dancing the first dance together and if you're going to be standing next to me, I'll need you looking good."  Lily glared at him.  Trust James to make this about him.  "Of course," he said taking back his card, "If you really insist, I wouldn't want to upset you."  He pocketed the card.  "Come on chaps, let's go." 

"Wait just one minute."  Claire called after them.  "Lily didn't mean it, she's just being stubborn.  Don't listen to her James."

"Sorry,"  James said an infuriating smirk teasing his lips.  "All I want is for Lily to be happy and if the dress won't please her, I don't see that there's much point in buying it."

"She never said that."  Claire pleaded desperately.

"Shut up!"  Lily said defiantly.  "I don't need his charity."  She glared at James demurely.  "I can find a dress just as nice elsewhere."  But James was gone, laughing as the door shut behind him.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."   Madam Malkin said smiling suddenly.

"Do what?"

"Buy another dress of course."

"Why ever not?"  Lily asked surprised.

"Because he's already paid for it my dear, and I'll bet my bottom dollar that he'll be back before the evenings over to pick it up."

*  *  *

Lily snorted at the old ladys words later that evening.  As if James would do that.  If he could afford to randomly splash out five hundred galleons on her then he was just as likely to forget all about it.

"You know, I reckon she's right."  Emily said dreamily.  "Wouldn't it be so romantic if he did?"

"Bah!"  Lily said moodily.  Secretly she was a little pissed off that James hadn't given it to her there and then.  Of course she had intended for him to get it just not straight away.  It had been the most stunning dress, but James had an annoying habit of catching her out like that.  Lily stamped her foot angrily.  

"You do realise this is your own fault."  Claire said somewhere from the depths of her wardrobe.  If you weren't so stubborn and could just learnt to accept things-"

"I will not accept charity."  Lily said.  "Especially not from James Potter."

"If you weren't so stubborn," Claire continued ignoring her, "then you would have that dress, that absolutely sensationally, gorgeous dress and you wouldn't be contemplating customising curtains." 

"I think their jolly nice curtains actually."  Lily said obstinately.  Claire rolled her eyes.  Lily really was impossible.  "Besides, he was only going to buy it to buy me.  And I am not somebody to be bought.  If James Potter really loves me, I'm sure he can come up with something better than that. "

"Don't you think he's already tried?"  Claire said severely.  "The poor guy.  To keep being shot down and yet he still keeps trying."

"Whose side are you on here?"  Lily said angrily.

Claire ignored her.  "You could wear this I suppose."  She said holding up one of her old dresses "But it will never measure up to the other one."  She sighed.

"Oh for Gods sake.  It's only a dress.  You really are controversial at times Claire.  To think that Voldemorts out on the loose and all you're concerned about is a dress."  She shook her head.  "Maybe you should be rethinking your priorities."

"Stop trying to change the subject, Missy."  Claire said.  "Just admit it.  You loved that dress and you are very pissed off that you wasted the opportunity of having it."

Wasted.  What was it James had said, "_I wouldn't be wasting it, Anything that can make you even more gorgeous than you already are, is worth more than a thousand galleons."  _If it hadn't been James who'd said that, it really would have been quite romantic.  But it was James who'd said it.  And although she hated to admit it, it had seemed quite romantic.


End file.
